SO MANY FIRSTS
There’s nothing so remarkable, magical, and memorable as the blur of your baby’s first few days. So many more firsts await, all those new moments and unknowns surrounding that early time from giving birth to bringing your baby home and those initial (ha!) sleepless nights.
Keeping this tiny incredible being fed can be an especially anxious and confusing source of stress, particularly for first-time parents. That’s why The Play Lab sat down (virtually) with Erin Iwanusa, perinatal mental health expert, LCSW, and CDWF, who’s counseled many new and growing families through birthing experiences and into the early stages of new life.
These interviews and blogs are important to us because in addition to being a play space to bring your little one to for a few hours during the day, The Play Lab is also a community made up of a network of families growing through new stages and changes just like you.
Started by local mom, Magda Lahliti, we share the goal of being a supportive hub for new moms offering everything new moms might need, from pre and postnatal workshops to connection with other moms, experts, newborn and toddler classes, and a safe and stimulating playspace to bring your children ages 0-7.
A COMMUNITY OF MOMS
Magda put together this questionnaire for Erin based on a combination of her own postnatal experience and the questions commonly posed to her by other new mothers. At The Play Lab, you’ll find a community of parents who’ve all been through these early times and come out on the other side remembering them well. We’ve also compiled a couple feeding tips 101 for those first new days:
Tip 1: Learning your baby’s hunger cues
The first few days are learning opportunities for discovering your baby’s hunger patterns. Typically babies need to eat every 2-3 hours which amounts to roughly 8-12 feedings a day. If you’ve got a snoozer on your hands, try tickling their feet or lightly rubbing their back to help stimulate their appetite. Pay attention to their hunger signs, the signs will continue growing clearer to read every day.
Tip 2: Feeding your baby
While this is a deeply individualized process, there’s some basic guidelines you can follow as you learn what works best for your family. For those who are breastfeeding, there can be even more variables. According to LaLache, some babies get everything they need nursing in five minutes and others in forty. And then there are the variables among the mothers: some have a fast letdown, meaning milk comes too forcefully or quickly, and others have a slow one. The good news is that people have been having babies for as long as we've been around. If something isn’t working, there are many resources to turn to for help –we’ll share a few of our expert Erin’s favorites at the end.
DELAYED MILK PRODUCTION
For first-time mothers or those who’ve had a cesarean, milk production can sometimes be delayed. This NY Times article on lactation advices to “continue nursing every two to three hours and then supplement right after, until your milk comes in. Your pediatrician will advise you on how much banked donor milk or formula is needed and how to wean off it once your milk arrives.”
FORMULA AND COMBINATION-FEEDING
For those using formula, it can be easier to control the process in terms of supply and timing, but there are still challenges and questions. And then there’s the increasingly popular combination-feeding. According to expert Kate Arquilla, founder of BumbleBaby, “80% of families supplement with infant formula at some point in the first year of their baby’s life. Combination feeding is something every family should know about.”
It can all seem overwhelming at first but with time, understanding between you and your baby will grow. Co-creating a feeding system with your new little one can be an exciting rewarding journey on the path to getting acquainted.
SELF CARE IS FAMILY CARE
Don’t forget that taking care of a baby also means taking care of yourself. Shower and rest when you can, be sure to eat. It can be easy to isolate during these early times, checking in with a close friend or family member who understands what you’re going through can give you important support.
ERIN IWANUSA ANSWERS OUR LACTATION QUESTIONS:
THE PLAY LAB: How long should you try to nurse if nothing's working?
ERIN: I would first recommend seeking services from a lactation consultant. If that isn't working, nurse as long as it feels comfortable and beneficial for both you and your baby. But, if things continue to persist, it is absolutely OK to stop nursing. Even a shorter timeframe for nursing can provide a lot of benefits.
THE PLAY LAB: What kind of formula is best?
ERIN: There is no best brand, however, there are some things you can look for when selecting a baby formula. Select one that is specifically for babies. Formulas that are iron-fortified are important for your baby's development. Outside of that, it can be a personal preference. For example, some parents might prioritize an organic formula. It is also important to ensure the formula is not expired. And, speak with your child's pediatrician.
THE PLAY LAB What advice do you offer to help someone who doesn't like the sensation of breastfeeding or finds it painful?
ERIN: Some pain and discomfort, especially as you are starting, is expected! There are some good creams that can help with easing discomfort. Significant pain, however, can indicate something like a blocked milk duct, a poor latch, or an infection. Make sure you consult with your doctor if something like this might be happening. Not liking the sensation is very understandable, and try not to judge yourself for that! If it is too uncomfortable for you, it is ok to stop breastfeeding.
THE PLAY LAB: For those who know they don't want to breastfeed, is there anything they should tell the hospital when they arrive for labor?
ERIN: It is just important to make your providers aware of your decision. Expect some comments from nurses or doctors who may not have the best bedside manner! But, if you feel grounded in your decision, simply state your wishes to your providers.
THE PLAY LAB: When should parents seek professional help?
ERIN: Anytime you feel discomfort, or if the baby is having a hard time latching. You can start this process when you are pregnant if you have any worries. It is also important to seek support when you are returning to work, and if you plan on pumping, it can be helpful to work with someone to help you plan for pumping and breastfeeding. There can be so many things to consider: if you have twins, if your baby is born prematurely, if you are experiencing postpartum mood disorders - so many things can lead you to seek professional help!
THE PLAY LAB: Finally, for those who breastfeed, any advice on a feeding schedule, and ways to stay sane while keeping to it?!
ERIN: Whew - this is a big topic! Lots of self-care and wellness activities. Make sure you are sleeping, drinking a lot of water, and feeding yourself well. Find other things to delegate: for example, can someone else in your home do the dishes or cook dinner so you can nurse? I do find staying on a schedule to be the most important piece, but don't be too hard on yourself if you cannot stick to a schedule. Create a good plan, but be kind to yourself if you have to veer from the plan.
THE PLAY LAB: Thanks Erin! Looking forward to seeing you back again.
RESOURCES: Videos, literature, and support recommended by Erin include:
La Leche League: https://llli.org/
Your local hospital or healthcare center
Postpartum Support International: https://www.postpartum.net/ Tons of free support, including support groups and a call line
Erin’s practice: taproottherapynyc.com
Books: Breastfeed Doesn't Need to Suck by Kathleen Kendall-Tacket, Better Breastfeeding by Linda Dahl
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